It's been over a year since I moved, and a few months since my last post. So many things have happened and changed that I don't know exactly where to start. First of all, happy late thanksgiving to everyone, and I hope you had a pleasant day with your families and friends. I went to my Aunt Wanda's house for dinner, just like last year, and all in all I had a good time with everyone. I was able to see my boyfriend a couple days this vacation, and I hung out with a couple friends, too. In all, it was an okay break until a couple days ago. A good friend of mine called me from Maine. She's been having a hard time lately, and I've worried myself to tears over her. She told me that the previous night, she had broken down because of me. I caused her so much pain that she was forced to tears. Her troubles were my fault. That was Saturday, and I still haven't been able to let that go. Especially after my mother's latest 'pep talk', telling me I have no motivation or care for anything or anyone anymore, and how tired she is of me, but I've just rid myself of the horrible mood everything's left me in for the time being, so that's enough of that.
On a lighter and happier note, I was able to see my wonderful boyfriend for a couple of days this vacation. He's the only one who can lift my mood for real these days. I try my hardest to pretend, but sometimes I just can't. I don't have to pretend for him. Just last night, I lied in my bed and stared at the ceiling, hurting so much that I wished I'd just die to escape it. But then I realized, in doing so, I'd also escape the one person that brings me true happiness, and I'd be abandoning him.
Thank you for listening.
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