Bored and Lonely

I'd given up on posting for a while, because first of all, I couldn't sign in for a long time. Turns out I was using the wrong email. Second of all, absolutely nothing interesting has happened that's worth telling.

School's about to start up, and I feel like I'm going to throw up every time I think about it. My social anxiety never fails to get the best of me. I wish I could be okay with going to school, and I wish I could be comfortable there, but I just can't. I don't feel safe like I used to. I know it's probably to do with it still being a new place for me, but it just doesn't feel right. Nothing feels right anymore.
I haven't been able to sleep right, lately. Every time I try, thoughts start shooting through my brain like bullets. Memories; things I don't want to remember, things I wish I could relive, mistakes, misfortunes, all the things wrong with me, I just can't even hope to sleep with all that running through my head. As I write this, it's 4: 20 am, and I haven't gotten even a wink of sleep.
I've been having nightmares, too, as if losing sleep every night isn't enough. It's always the same thing. I'm being chased down a dark, unending corridor by someone or something. I can never see it's face, if it even has one, but I know that it's human. It makes me uneasy just writing about it.
I'm getting my learner's permit this week. I can't say I'm not excited, but I'm also very terrified. My father has allowed me to drive only down our dirt road so far, and I've found that I'm not particularly talented when it comes to getting behind the wheel. But on the bright side, I'll have a whole year to practice before I can get my license. Even though I'm turning 16 this year, in Georgia you have to have your permit a whole year and a day before you can get your license.
I've been having some emotional issues lately. Now, I know no one really takes the time to read through this shit, so don't think I'm looking for attention or pity. I don't want that from anyone. I've been hurting really bad recently, and I can't exactly figure out why. It feels like my chest is full of liquid and I'm constantly drowning in it. I want help, and I know I need it, but I don't know how to ask for it. I can't just waltz up to my mom and say "Hey, mom! I'm depressed!" Last time my feelings were exposed, I was sent to a therapist right away. She didn't even try to talk to me herself, and I really don't want to have to reacquaint myself with a stranger every time I'm feeling bad. 
Well, I think that's enough whining for the night.  I just wanted to write something down, now that I was able to log on for the first time in a couple months, I think. Goodnight, whoever took the time to read this crappy post.