Night

This week marks the week my parents are making me wake up early. No, I haven't slept yet, even though it's 4:10 am on Tuesday morning. I'm listening to Bad Girls Club by Falling In Reverse, one of the most amusing songs I've ever heard. Lucky for me, because I'm having a bad night. That cheered me up some. Depression really is a bitch, isn't it? I feel like I have a gaping hole in my chest. Night is the only time I feel the slightest relief, because when I'm alone I don't have to hide anything. When my parents are around, or other family members, I put on my mask and pretend everything's okay. The only person I've ever really confided in is my very best friend, the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the only person I've ever loved, and the only human being who's ever seen my dark side and still loved me for the monster I am.
I can't help but wonder what it would be like to die. Is there really a Heaven, or a Hell? Or is there nothingness and silence for eternity? Everyone dies, so I suppose I'll find out eventually. Until then, I'm just going to focus on what I can do with the time in between. In a world like the one we have now, everything is a struggle and it's easy to give up. I've almost slipped up a few times myself, and I never forgive myself for that. For being weak.
Sorry this post is a little short, if you even care, I just don't have much to say today.